Life stuff #1

I’m bored as shit, main reason I would ever think to create something. Being a student in my second semester at a Public Ivy school, one would expect me to actually give a care about my future and what it may or may not hold. But no, I don’t give a single shit.

Last semester was mostly fine, I passed the majority of my four classes with flying colors. Except for Precalculus, god damn am I a moron. I barely scraped by with a C and now am in Calculus 1, General Chemistry 1, and Biology 1 with the second semester coming to a close. And what have I done all semester long in order to succeed in my classes? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I spent about two months just dilly-dallying (who says that anymore?) my days away.

Then when I tell my parents that I am failing, I get a text message: “Anon, your sister will come down to take your laptop and smartphone away from you”. Like shit, well what the hell do I do now? Gone is my powerful workstation laptop and decent smartphone and they are instead replaced with a shitty Surface RT and a flip phone. Taking my laptop away I can understand, but my phone? Really? I don’t just look at hentai and browse memes on it. Me being a sheltered individual, not having to experience the hardships (whatever they are, I honestly don’t even know) that others have/had to that are of my age, I can barely find my way around. And now I am in a foreign city, with no real means of navigating except planning stuff out in advanced. What is this, the late 90’s/early 2000’s? Stuff like Google Maps doesn’t work on that flip phone, so great I can barely navigate the campus, and now have little hope in navigating the city by myself. And no I don’t have a car (and don’t want one) or a bicycle. I am to scared to use one, and the latter I have had bad experiences with it to say the least…

Goddam am I a moron, like shit I don’t know anything for any of my classes, and am about to fail four out of five of them. And my parents being the way they are, will disown me if I get kicked out of college. This ain’t no Welcome to the NHK tier shit, it’s serious business. How in the hell did I ever get accepted to the school? I don’t have any skills, like nope, nada. I can’t do shit except browse the internet looking at stuff telling myself, “Wouldn’t that be nice anon? To live in a foreign country and understand moonspeak?” As if that would ever happen. I honestly don’t even feel the need to try and study anymore. I understand that my parents are paying for everything, but hell if I don’t feel like I’m worth it. I’m a stupid piece of shit who can play video games ‘decently’, if that, and browse the internet for porn and stupid macabre shit. I’m no one of note, and can’t see myself ever becoming one. I’ve put more effort in writing this than I have in studying for the aforementioned classes at this point.

If any poor soul ever comes across this retarded piece, please, don’t feel any pity or sympathy. After all, I’m the one that put myself in such a position. I had/have all the tools at my disposal in order to succeed, and I just gave them the finger. Seriously, what the hell am I doing?

On a brighter note, I started watching Kokoro Connect and it’s pretty good.


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